All I Want Was to Fall Back Down to Sleep

I lay down with a broken heart in my bed

for it could not take the truth it so dread

my eyes were wide open but truly I am blind,

and now darkness arose in me and kept in bind.

Time was seen wasted on me again

and now my blood it had tried to drain 

my heart ache for freedom and liberty

from agony and the throes of captivity

I did not realise how damaged my soul was

until every curses made me a useless outcast

and the only time I seemed to be happy 

was when I was asleep with such torpidity

And now I had become a grief-stricken addict

nothing more than just an intoxicated derelict

for I had tasted the sweetness of insouciance 

it had put me forever in such a beautiful trance

I had come to hate the sun and daylight

my only joy was now hidden in bitter night

so much tensions and doubt ran deep

now all I want was to fall back down to sleep

So I clenched the sharp razor tightly in my hand 

and went through every little thing I had planned

why would I waste another second in existence

when every soul I'd ever touched only wanted distance?

I lay myself down on the cold frozen ground

to wait for the moment where I shall drown

as the smell of copper and rust filled my shivered room   

I watched the time began to slow and had me consume 

I closed my eyes and wept tears of blood

and braced myself for the incoming flood

on the cold floor of my god-forsaken house 
and this time in my slumber, I do not need no rouse.

I.A