It isn’t the fall that kills you

 

My blood soaked with chemicals and burning rage

as I slammed the door hard behind me
tears went down my cheeks like a storm
flooding my brain and broken heart.
I drowned again and for the umpteenth time–
your face was the hand that kept me down under
the smoking gun that shot me down in cold blood
even when I already had the white flag risen.
And yes, maybe I was a dumb little coward
to get back up and fight again for my stupid life
to put back the choices back into my stupid hands
to erase every touch and damned memories of us
to forget that I was once such a pathetic soul
for even believing in the idea of you.

But I was afraid to admit that I’d foreseen it before
I knew of the impending doom that was coming
you had me chained behind an invisible prison
that now I realised only existed in my mind.
I knew that one day, your face would hurt me
break me so hard that might wish even to die
sucking the air and life out of me ever so gladly
without a single drop of true remorse.
Despite all that, I only have myself to blame
I hid the bruises and damages in my ribcage
but I forgot it showed up on my skins and in my head
engraved forever as a painful reminder
of my own making.

I Said I’m Okay but Don’t Trust Me

 

I said I’m okey but don’t trust me, 

’cause sometimes I hide so no one could see,

that deep down inside I’m a pathetic mess,
and nothing more than everything less.

I said I’m okay but I just don’t care,
’cause life is everything, except fair,
we fall down harder and harder each day,
from unsaid things and unanswered pray. 

I said I’m okay only so you would stop asking,
the same hundred questions I’m tired of answering,
because each time I give out the same damn lie,
it is also the time when all of my pieces slowly die. 

I said I’m okay but don’t you pretend,
that you can have my heart unbent,
’cause people act like they're worried,
when in reality they just want something to feed. 

I said I’m okay but you damn know I’m lying,
because deep inside you’re also crumbling and dying,
just like every time you said you’re okay,
and everybody else pretend they’re in awful dismay. 

I said I’m okay but I wish I hadn’t,
‘cause it reminds me of the things I couldn’t,
that I am nothing more than a useless coward,
for letting myself by failure be ever devoured.

You Should Love Her

You should love her
in the most heartfelt way,
that would make her love you,
even more than she already could,

You should love her
because she is alone and fragile,
like a frail little mannequin,
that seems strong on the outside,

You should love her
like she could disappear,
and fade away in all her fears,
so make her world a little lighter,

You should love her
because she's lost her anchor,
that had sworn to protect her,
but left her broken and in tears,

You should love her
like you could lose her,
even if everyday gets a little harder,
and you wished everything could be better,

You should love her
because she would love you in return,
but sometimes she would keep a distance,
and a strong resistance,

But you should love her
and never let go of her hand,
stay with her and make your stand,
and she will make your world, forever grand.